rantypants & snidbits: New words learned today

I learned two wonderful new words today…

rantypants || snidbits

— both self-explanatory, but not excessively so, since everyone knows pants don’t rant and bits do not snid; well… except that time in the fall — last September, I think — when bits became bites, the postman was annoyed and called the cops, who arrived amid sirens and rubber–laying screeches, pulled out their notebooks and began to snid the bits and their pieces together before making their arrest.

A slinky tom from the alley next door was hauled off to the clinker, but later released when 14 mice and one plump robin swore to his whereabouts elsewhere, murdering newborn rabbit kits.

The case cooled, the rantypants postman retired to his cottage in the Highlands and Tom began to hawk cat food on T.V., a big star with his own cage and personal appearances in the malls.

source

This entire rantypants snidbits was triggered by terribleminds.com, courtesy Chuck Wendig. (language alert)